Self Care Is Not Selfish in 2021!

9 min readJan 3, 2021


How-To Guide||Part 1

  • It sounds really great. It even sounds a bit nostalgic. Self Care. But in the world of today how do we actually do that? Let’s share how-to have Self Care in this Part 1. In the light of today, I wish someone had told me years ago how-to have self care. Moreover, after decades of trial and error, a top choice to learn how-to Self Care is undoubtedly learning to be your own cheerleader. For this reason, it may sound strange and even contradictory, a cheerleader is supposed to cheer for her team. In spite of this truth, everything moves a lot faster in the world today. Additionally things work in milliseconds which doesn’t leave a lot of free time. Years ago people would go to visit you and spend the whole afternoon. But now people spend afternoons going from one country to another. Life is changing and changing fast. After all of this fast movement, one can say from experience the best way to go through this is to learn to be your own cheerleader. And how is that? Let’s start with complimenting yourself, by yourself, and to yourself on a daily and hourly basis! You may be thinking, oh but that’s so egocentric and that’s so arrogant I would never do that…

Well then what can you decide on today, to start being your own cheerleader?

  • It is beyond imagination how much negative self-talk we actually give to ourselves every single day. What we’re talking about is healthy balanced levels of self esteem, self confidence, and self love. It is difficult for some of us to admit that we really do not not esteeming ourselves. It takes a walk down a path of deep self-reflection and deliberate conscious awareness to uncover this nasty habit of self-sabotage. To choose that from this day forward, you will stop to pay attention to what you are mentally telling yourself, when those thoughts don’t bear you any fruit in your life. You are your biggest fan or your biggest critic. Without realizing it, we often scold ourselves for things that we cannot even control. For example, it’s raining, and you forgot your umbrella. But it started to rain suddenly, and you had no way to look at the weather in the morning. Maybe, you still didn’t know it was going to rain. Or it wasn’t listed on the weather report. You scold yourself over and over again in your mind. Oh, things like this…I’m so stupid. Why didn’t I know to bring my umbrella? I’m all wet. Now I’m going to get to work grumpy. And I’m soaked and wet, blah blah blah. The list goes on and on in our heads. Unfortunately, self-criticism adds up once you get to work. You’re in a bad mood for most of the day.

Self Care and Mental Heath

  • We need to get great at how-to flip the switch! So, for example, the next time it suddenly rains, and even if it wasn’t sudden, maybe they did announce it on the weather report yesterday and you just didn’t have time… and you get all wet. Try telling yourself a different story in your head. Well, even though I’m all wet. It won’t last forever. Thank goodness. I’ll be ok. I was able to get here anyway. I’ll forget in a little while. I have a job. Thank God. I have a boss that wants to see me every day. Believe it or not, teaching yourself to flip the switch with more positive self-talk makes a world of difference. It does not take special training. It does take practice, which will bring you tremendous benefits to your life. If you try it, you will see a noticeable difference within one month. Remember any time you catch yourself using negative self-talk. Stop yourself immediately. And if there are others around and you can’t speak out loud, say in your mind, Stop that. It’s no big deal if you got wet. It’s fine. Your boss is happy to see you. He even told you and complimented you on the report you handed in yesterday. Remind yourself over and over about what there is good in your life and the good that you have done. So that you can build yourself up and not suffer a setback. If you feel stuck, and don’t know where to begin, in order to flip the stitch, click here for further help..

List out what you can do to flip the switch so you can build yourself up?

  • Unfortunately, many people spend their lives being their own worst enemy. In the hope that it isn’t their elders, parents, relatives, husband, or their children. The person who is most scolding to them is themselves. I assure you if you ask four different people that you do not know, “If you walked outside and forgot your umbrella, what would you think?” You’ll be surprised. One person would say, “So what I don’t even own an umbrella.” Another person would say, “I don’t mind. It was hot anyway.” Another person might say, “It was only a minute of rain. I’m already dry”. And you may have another person just like you scolding themselves for forgetting their umbrella. The key in this scenario is that if you choose one of the other three options mentioned, you will have a much better day and consequently life. You’re still telling your mind the truth. Although, you’re telling your mind a much more pleasant, positive, uplifting, perspective of the truth. And that will add to your progressive thoughts. As an illustration, thoughts can help us grow, build us up, and make us better. Unfortunately, some thoughts can discourage us and tear us down. So let’s decide to be aware. Aware of what we’re thinking and when that thinking isn’t progressive, let’s change it!

Self Care for Everyone

  • Compliment yourself not in an egocentric or arrogant way, but if you did do a great job on the presentation and you gave it your best, then tell yourself that you did a great job. It doesn’t matter what the boss says later. That’s all right. “I still did a great job.” Find what is good in every situation. There was once a proverb which said, Look at the dead man and tell me what you can see? The two men looked at the dead man. One said I can not find anything he is dead. And the other person said, this dead man has such beautiful teeth!

Think about your day today and bring up all the good things you did.

Ideas for Self Care

  • What do you like to do? And try to start with that as a hobby. Start to navigate your career into things that you are organically drawn to. Many of us don’t do this in our career youth. We tend to choose careers that are based on a high salary, which is a very noble act. Of course, we want to set up a home. We want to provide for our (future) family. Some would say it is natural to look for a high-paying job. Unfortunately, many people find later on that perhaps that position is not gratifying. It doesn’t bring out their desires and passion. The happiness that they once thought a job would bring is not there. A good way to find out is to look at what you like to do when you’re in the zone? You know when you start doing something and you’re so into it that next thing, you know two hours have gone by. And you can’t even understand where the time went. That’s an indicator of knowing that you were in the zone. If you need further help on understanding how to find your dream zone, click here.
  • For example, a doctor left a prime profession and became gardener. So that he could use his medical experience and expertise in his passion profession. This former doctor now uses natural herbs and organically grown foods to heal cancers. Stories like these are getting more and more common nowadays. Because we have the ability to use artificial intelligence for our conveniences. So we don’t have to spend a lifetime doing things that we really don’t like to do. Machines are taking up those tasks. Affording us more possibilities to call upon and tap into our creative side of our intellect and soul. A good tip for finding what puts you in the zone is often linked to some type of creative outlet in your life. What about that lady that loves to bake? Now Mrs. Fields cookies are all over the world. That’s not a simple baking hobby anymore.

How many times have you been involved in a pass time hobby?

Wished you could do it all day long?

Self Care Night

  • No matter what you enjoy doing. There is a time that we all need to step back from our computerized environment. Take a breath of fresh air and talk to real people. Although you may say, I love my computer. I could work at it for days and days. Yes, that’s true. But there is an expression which says, “you can do everything, but not everything is good for you”. And research has shown that extended hours at computerized screens are not always beneficial to our health. Most recent findings indicate that the light form of the computer screen and the extended time spent in front of them can cause sleep disruptions. Some people have experienced insomnia. So we need to balance our people time and our computer time. So if you start feeling odd, and you don’t know why. You might need some sunshine and people time. To word it diffidently, if you are a musician, you know the difference between playing an electrical musical instrument like a guitar or piano versus playing a regular string guitar or playing your grandmas old fashioned piano. Be as it may, they’re both great, each in their own right. It’s all about the balancing act of life.

Do you have a favorite unplugged instrument you like too play?

Or do you prefer electoral? Or maybe you like a mix?

Want more tantalizing ways of How-to love Self Care? Check out Part 2 of How-to Self Care at:

Enjoy your life!

All photos for this article are courtesy of Pixabay.

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Servedwell is a cook that let's food heal her soul. And Servedwell is a teacher, a book author, a mother, and a lover of life all at